The touch screen on my phone is dead. The only thing I can do with it in this state is take incoming voice calls on my bluetooth headset. But the headset's battery life is not infinite and the charger is at work, so really I can only even take calls if I know the call is coming so I can have the headset turned on, paired, and ready to push the "answer" button.
No outgoing calls, no checking voicemail, no texting in either direction.
Hoping to get this resolved soon, but it won't be before tomorrow.
ETA: fixed! Hooray.